Saturday, December 3, 2011

For a friend.... who was lost and found

Crooked teeth
Curly hair
Frown when you are shy ...
Pensive eyes
Half asleep
Your gaze always gets me to smile

How did we know each other so well?

Five years apart...

Our fears and goals
Our aches and joys
Our mistakes and triumphs

Even when miles apart?

Cosmic twins as it were.

Our minds have conversed
Somewhere beyond the history of time
They've shared a joke and consoled life
Even before you and I stepped out here

They try to label what we have
Like tacky friendship cards...relationship packages
Ready made, ugly processed pieces on retail line

But our bond goes above and beyond.

For even when we choose to walk ahead
Hands holding another's
We will still walk together
Connected forever with that invisible thread


 




























Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Run

I am stealing ...
Stealing when I can
A glance , some warmth...
a smile or perhaps even an embrace

My hands intertwine with strange fingers
But don't find a grasp
My eyes fail to meet a pair
My mind races away


But I am still hoarding...
Hoarding half baked feelings
For faces I meet elsewhere
Convinced they"ll drown a familiar thought

That fed of your glance, your warmth
Your smile in the morning
After our hands held each other
My fingers knotted in yours


I am running ahead
My feet may be fumbling but I am gaining a pace
Your feet ...tread faster than mine
But you are running away...away from what truly could be you




















































Monday, November 28, 2011

Giving thanks at the Grand Canyon

My clothes smell of mustard oil, cigarettes and wheat beer. It's not the most pleasant rush for my olfactory nerves but it is for now helping me create a memory of the last four days. Memories with old college mates who have assumed a larger role all of a sudden. Of boys I knew back in Presidency, who've evolved to become strong and caring men...of friends who've become family.

R, B and I were on the road from Thursday till Saturday. As I was driving through the dense pine covered forests leaving Phoenix behind and approaching the Grand canyon, I caught R in the rear view mirror. Pensive yet peaceful, his presence was surreal in that we actually finally made this happen, almost a year since we first caught up over our long phone calls in the US.

Seated next to me , B looked ahead at the road. My intermittent 'tipaniya' on life apart, I was chiding him constantly when he could not alert me to take a turn well in time. An yet he remained so calm, jovial and earnest in his effort to be the perfect host to me and R. How did these two people become so close as friends and more importantly how is it that 5 years since we last saw each other, we were actualizing a fantasy that many friends share but only few get to execute? Do friendships really strengthen over distance and time? Here we were. Photographing the rugged yet beautiful landscape of a foreign country together, just as R and I had jokingly discussed in Presi in the student union room years back.

Over the next two days we trailed through the canyon, watched the sun set over majestic historic red peaks , shared a cigarette sitting at the edge of the cliff well beyond dusk and sharing our stories over whiskey I had ceremoniously picked up with green christmas glasses. Emotions were running high as the trip was drawing to and end and so over our thanksgiving meal I suggested each of us make a little speech about what we were grateful for. Over all that we've had - good health, a loving family and the blessing of going aftet what we are passionate about, we shared the same gratitude. Of having each other in our lives - friends who cared enough to hold each other through some really dark times and yet point our mistakes out o us bluntly.

Yesterday at the watch tower overlooking the canyon, R placed a dream catcher in my hand. I've wanted one for years and little did I realize how symbolic this gift was until he explained why he was giving it to me here and now. As I hugged him and thought of the counsel he's offered me over the last one year, I realized it's having some people's faith in you when you least expect them to that really counts over all the familiar faces who've bailed out on you in small ways or big ones.

Of course saying bye has been tough. We've called and texted each other profusely since we left, even running up to security checking areas for that last one hug and now back at home looking through the memories we froze in pixellated digital fragments. Who said nostalgia makes you weak? It's denying good memories to ourselves in our weakest moments that makes us false pragmatics. Optimism stems from the potential people see in us much more than our courage in ourselves.

Here's to my friends .... who've traveled with me through time as it were. You've brought the past into the present and yet reminded me of the best I can do in the near future.

Surely we must travel another unfamiliar path very soon. Only we will have each other.