There’s one emotion I find even more frightening than that of loneliness. Helplessness.
To know you would be able to otherwise in ordinary circumstances take on a certain situation and yet when it stares you in the eye, you freeze.
I watched my father get battered today by a stranger. His weapon? An ordinary helmet.
Baba’s only mistake was to protect his daughter from two men on a motorcycle attempting to mug her. As he called out to the men who sped by her, my sister watched in horror as one of the men got off the bike took off his helmet and deal one blow after another to my father’s head. I stepped out listening to the screams and watched this unfold, but found no courage to step closer.
My parents and my grandfather have raised both my sister and I to have the courage to take on any odd situations we may have to face. Today as I recalled the incident in a zombie like state to my mother confessing my guilt that I could have helped my father, taken on one of the men or atleast noted the number of the bike (I had rushed out in between a math exercise with a pen in my hand!), I received a reply that contradicts what I’ve essentially believed in. “Thank God you didn’t step out.” She replied. “Anything could have happened to you. What would you have done to help, it could have made matters worse. Don’t get bogged down by any guilt.”
I’ve lived away from my parents across two different cities. Faced challenges at my workplace, emotional complexities, financial issues, sickness sometimes all of it at one go and completely alone. And being on my own in Mumbai for a year and half endowed me with a great sense of independence. But today none of my self assured independence seems worthwhile to me. My mother almost comforted my lack of courage. And somewhere, that made me feel I’m a woman not expected to protect my father physically from harm’s way. Nobody in my family would underestimate my worth if I didn’t. But I know I’m not even strong enough to reach out to my 60 plus father battling a man with an ordinary helmet.
Does our society, our family ever expect physical prowess and bravado ‘a must have’ quality in our daughters, sisters or our wives?
The answer is a clear no. And no matter what the 21st century may endow women today what with opportunities to foray into a world and carve a niche along side men, women have to and must recognize the need to strengthen themselves bodily to face physically challenging situations not just the intellectual.
We need to let everyone know that we are to be taken seriously in our workplaces but if someone dares bother us or our loved ones, they will have to put up with a fight.
Else you may just be standing behind the gate, horror and fear your heart and courage to do no more.
