Do you remember October 2005. We talked of patina on bronze statues, hopped galleries promising what pieces would line our individual homes someday, realized we both loved dirty yellow for a wall color, walked through Kolkata's winter streets talking of chaththim phool and yes...you taught me 20 questions. That one brilliant game to gauge someone not having asked too much not having to reveal too much. It's served me well :)
As I got off the cab one evening, you spoke of a girl in the winter walking the streets with a brown corduroy jacket a little like Winona Ryder. I walked home that evening and clutching the insides of my jacket, I thought of our time together and then of you having to leave the city soon. I thought of your friend who I seemed to have so easily forgotten who seemed a mere shadow to your presence. I sat by my window late that night and knew I wouldn't say what I wanted to because of our friendship , your friendship both of which were more valuable than the possibility of us. My brown corduroy jacket hung by the corner of my chair, my mind dancing the corners of that edge realizing how important you suddenly had become in my life.
Two years later, we found ourselves growing closer, this time in a new city. We shared a handycam one evening, filmed the 'bidi jalai dey' song to me dancing , filmed you in a trance dancing to your then favorite song.... both of us drunk on a natural high, drunk on happiness and ceasing the moments we created for ourselves over and over again.
I had my faith shaken, my heart broken over and over again and you took sides you needn't have. I walked back in and out of the mess you were trying to rescue me from. You chided me like a paternal figure but when the time came you stood by my side again. And as I finally announced my decision to leave India, your smiling sad face in that glowing red light of our favorite pub would stay fresh in my mind fro a long time. You took off your glasses and wept and held my best friend who was in denial of our life and what it had come to be now without each other.
It's amazing how right I have been about your pragmatism, your choices and how you will choose to lead your life. You are one of the most sincere, hard working, creative and caring souls I know. I feel a little like your companion in infinity , someone who doesn't need a tag, someone who will call you even if she's miles apart, someone who has never doubted what your friendship meant in her darkest days. And all of a sudden, here I am, picking out a ring for you, a bit in denial about what you told the other day and of course a bit anxious . But more than anything, I am glad you found your girl. The one you described over rum and coke five years ago. When you don your white crown this time year next time, I"ll smile at you as you smile back knowing that there's a chance we all will find our 'checklist' partner. Just as you have.
