Sunday, July 4, 2010

EN THEOS

I am watching 'An Education' directed by Lone Scherfig. Perhaps I may write more about the film sometime in the near future but for now, it's brought in a strange pensive mellowness....The coming of age of Jenny has me thinking ( I say 'has' because I have yet another half an hour at least to go) or rather trying to recollect if I had a distinct phase of my growing up years which marked the transition, my transition from a girl into a woman. The theme of the film is of course much more than this ...but just watching Jenny, her brilliance and the way she swims along with David's witty-charm -moving from her boring suburbian Twickenham existence to evenings at Jazz clubs, dinners in expensive restaurants and her ultimate dream.. a trip to Paris - I get a sense she will swim ahead of him . Or so I hope.

Much of what girls grow up with is the notion of finding adventure, affection and ambition all tied up , somehow in one packaged experience or an opportunity or more commonly all to be achieved from a man who they idolise or could be in love with or wish would love them in return. The smarter ones have their fun but don't lose themselves in a whirlwind of feelings that cloud rationale and reality. The more dreamy-eyed or slightly vacuous or the kinds that are smarter than what they appear but not smart enough to know what's good enough for them, slip and lose their way. The last I remember, I categorised myself as the latter one.

Fortunately, the last 2 years have perhaps been a period of transition unlike any other phase of my growing up (There I got the answer to my own question :D). Growing up doesn't necessarily have to be from one portion of childhood to another or to even the years that we are told we need to behave like adults. Nescience exists and remains throughout our life ,ironically perhaps intensifying as we grow older (because aging quite often makes one myopic ). I recognise how ignorant I am and have been. But I pat myself on the back today for taking a step forward to what I hope will make me well...a little less judgemental and more humble of how little I really know.

Enthusiasm is the key for now to survival. Incidentally I just learnt that the word enthusiasm comes from the Greek word 'en theos' meaning God inspired, having God inside your or being God inspired. This discovery has just opened up a completely new perspective for what I am feeling right now :)