REMINDING MYSELF WHY I DO WHAT I DO

I have often asked myself what is the level of involvement that a filmmaker/video journalist should allow herself while working on a project. I don't even imply the kind of involvement that would involve making a contribution to the cause of an issue or one's subject. How about emotional involvement? At Journalism school (does anyone say J school??? or is that terminology reserved for the hallowed 'B' schoolers), we were always told 'be objective in reporting your story'. And it bothered a lot of us. It bothered me for sure. There is so much propaganda, hidden campaign, conspiracy theories or for that matter statistics and 'research' that convince you......sorry seduce you to believe in a particular aspect of anything under the sun that I am compelled (or was compelled atleast when I dreamt of being a reporter) to hold my ground and insist on enlightening folks about the 'other' side. Somebody has to do it right? And so I allow myself to be emotionally involved with my story. How else do I begin to understand the problem from the perspective of those it affects adversely?

Up until 2008, when I was still a Reporter (for a show focussing on urban and human issues for Times Now in India) there were plenty of times i allowed myself to be emotional about my story. That helped me write my scripts better and not stage my PTCs. Which is something all reporters seem to love doing these days because well they believe it's their 'Miss Universe' moment. You know the kind where what you say will decide if you are the winner. The focus is NOT on what you are saying but how tearful or emotional you seem. Piece to Cameras, by the way is broadcast parlance for the short sound byte that a reporter gives at the end or middle of a story to summarise it or give some perspective. It's another matter that it's no longer 'short'. Most journalists fall in love with their 'image' and the PTC could get you flak from your producer if you didn't have your make up on. Even if you were in a slum reporting on the rights of a girl child being denied education.

There was a point where I realised that I wasn't patient enough to last the neuroticism that a reporter's world comprises. I wanted to make short narrative films or advertisements, Public Service Advisory films or just documentary films that help me to tell a story in manner that I can really move my viewer. If my viewer mulls over what I created for him to see say while brushing his teeth, speaks about what he feels with more people and takes a significant step, any step, small or big - which furthers a cause or improves someone's life or makes other people want to sit up and read or talk more about 1 of the million issues that we visual storytellers need to address in our work - I would feel content. You may of course tell me that's not even half as good as watching a great news piece on the prime time bulletin show about the same issue. But I'll stand by this.

Getting back to my point of emotional involvement with my story. A friend of mine from Newhouse needed me to help shoot her documentary film on a CAFO (Contained Animal Feeding Operation) that is being planned half an hour away from Syracuse where I am pursuing a Master's degree. The area has been a hub for community and family farms for decades and now a company called BION is trying to push it's way in to this small town to start an ethanol plant. Now if you know anything about the debate on clean fuel then you would say "Hey Ethanol! That's a clean substitute for dirty crude oil, petrol etc. That's great!" And then if you knew more about how businesses dealing with clean and efficient energy alternatives are rewarded benefits in raking up carbon points you would say "Wow! That's environmental friendly business. Thumbs up!". However, I learnt a very important 'other' side of the carbon trading and environmental friendly alternatives we get to hear of these days. And that brings me back to the 'other' side of a story that is often not addressed or explored by journalists in their 'breaking headline' or 'prime time top news'. The vital piece of information which when placed in a context gives an issue an entire new dimension, sometimes a very frightening one.

As I stood by filming local farmers speak at the town council about their reasons for not wanting BION to step into their agricultural lands, not bring in 72,000 cattle that will produce manure for the ethanol plants, manure that will contaminate their waters, pollute the air and eventually threaten the livelihood of small farm holders, I couldn't help but feel afraid. Afraid, angry and anxious that these mothers, grandparents and youngsters of the community were entitled to feel. The whole guise of a meat processing plant that brings into your little town the potential to wreck havoc for your kids and for your life as you have lived it for generations could be devastating enough to give me nightmares to ruin my health for good. And to hear these ordinary men and women articulating their concerns in the most witty, intelligent yet dignified manner while dealing with a board of members with potential vested interests in the ethanol project or even the BIOn representatives seated in the meeting was to say the least an experience that gave me 'goose bumps'. Trust the BION representative (who by the way lives on Long Island) that he would live next to the ethanol plant if he had to. And that the community has the right to shut the plant if it affects them adversely. Sure! How many times have we heard of that really happening. It's like letting your dog take a dump on the nicest patch of your neighbor's garden and then say "Oh sorry, I didn't know it could kill your Petunias. I'll clean up now". This after the lovely petunias have wilted away and the poop has already left a stink that caused you migraines and probably woken you out of your deepest slumber.

And so I asked myself. It affects me. This affects me. Anything I film or choose to film matters the way that story is unfolding before my eyes. Be it a fictitious set of events or real life scenarios for a documentary (of course going by some classes I took this summer what a documentary really can do in terms of integrating fiction into its narrative has thrown up a whole new meaning for that format). Here I was managing white balance and holding the boom for my friend's film and I was almost impatient that she wasn't getting the perspective shot of the BION guys shooting each other meaningful looks while a mother of two explained what her research had thrown up. That BION was all about a profit making ethanol business that would rake in huge carbon points because of it's apparent 'clean' energy initiative. The irreversible effect of a 72,000 cows forever changing the topology of a small town of traditional farmers of course had no consequence to either BION or the authority that will award it the 'monetary' trophy for a seemingly 'valorous' step in creating clean business concepts.

Perhaps this is the last time I will be lending my friend a hand for her film. But it still makes me want to tell the stories that need to be told. And I need to remind myself of that now and then.