Do you count your days, weeks and months until jet trails can take you back , back to a moment where you could summon the strength to knock on the door again. Spend your year, maybe two, maybe more in willing suspension of disbelief......until your heart is purged of feeling and thought exclusive for a person?
Do you spend a few moments now and then doing what the tech-age has enabled all of us to, stalk someone, virtually...trace there scribbles but promise yourself a detached afterthought....
Or do you follow your impulse and reach out...only to be pacified and counseled "train yourself to hold back"
I am holding on.........to a blankness within me...the blanks will fill up in due time. Won't they?
It's funny how a year earlier, just around this same time, a marathon sparked off a thought in my head. I had no idea I would chase that thought through.
I also had no idea I would be left behind in that chase.
On a very different thought...I am headed to New York in a week's time for work. This time I will find time to walk and walk longer through unknown streets and avenues.
Walking to keep ahead of my thoughts, walking until I find in me that I can run.........once again
p.s The New York marathon and the Bimal Mahato story just came to my mind
Hmm 2011 NY marathon...if I am still here
No comments:
Post a Comment